Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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