Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
