Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
