i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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