I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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