How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
