I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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