dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
