Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize