Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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