i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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