I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
