And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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