their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
