I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
