new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
