Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
