hotel room ftw
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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