Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
