i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize