I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
