I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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