having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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