When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
