Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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