So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
