So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
