i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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