I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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