absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
