remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize