Having a random hookup so left but love u
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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