I'm eating all of the evidence.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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