Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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