It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
