he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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