real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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