I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
