dude i'm inner monologue high
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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