R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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