I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
