I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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