Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
