Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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