it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
