yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
