you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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