omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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