maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
