ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't deserve a penis
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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