you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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