Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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