I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
