just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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