he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize