He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
pray to the hookup gods
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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