Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
