i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
