I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
