I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
