You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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