the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize