As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
