Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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