New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
