Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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